Introducing: Power rankings as you've never seen them before

Everyone does power rankings with a thought towards the big picture, context, etc. Here at this website, we're doing away with such tedious burdens.

Introduction

Power rankings as a concept has always made me chuckle. Yeah, sure, it’s a fun exercise to monitor the entire league and rank where everyone stands on a weekly basis. But no one really commits to the gag. It’s subjective, yet for some reason, rankings seem to align pretty closely with each other while also hilariously refusing to acknowledge each other’s existence.

Well, seeing as I run this thing, I’m going to do them differently. Look for far more motion as we legitimately react to the developments of the last week and, in a fun little addition that will get at least a handful of new eyes because we writers are nothing if not narcissistic, a Power Rankings Ranking.

So, without further ado, let’s rank all 30 teams as they head into the 2023'-’24 campaign, as well as all the rankings you might find out there.

T-1. The… Atlanta Haws, Boston Celtics, Brooklyn Nets, Charlotte Hornets, Chicago Bulls, Cleveland Cavaliers, Dallas Mavericks, Denver Nuggets, Detroit Pistons, Golden State Warriors, Houston Rockets, Indiana Pacers, Los Angeles Clippers, Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies, Miami Heat, Milwaukee Bucks, Minnesota Timberwolves, New Orleans Pelicans, New York Knicks, Oklahoma City Thunder, Orlando Magic, Philadelphia 76ers, Phoenix Suns, Portland Trail Blazers, Sacramento Kings, San Antonio Spurs, Toronto Raptors, Utah Jazz, and Washington Wizards

For at least the next little while (I’m writing this about three hours before the Lakers and Nuggets tip off), everyone is undefeated. Everyone at least shares a tie for first place in their division and conference. The world is their oyster.

Though I will add how funny it is that even here the Washington Wizards are technically last on the list.

Power Rankings Rankings

Mine.

Why? Because only I will be brave enough to ever have the Charlotte Hornets ranked first at any point this season.

A six-way tie between The Athletic (Zach Harper), Sports Illustrated (Chris Mannix), NBA.com (John Schuhmann), NBC (Kurt Helin), CBS (Colin Ward-Henninger) and Bleacher Report (Andy Bailey).

Why? Because no one has played a game yet and thus ranking teams under such circumstances is weird to me.

Also, if you can think of rankings I didn’t list here or want your rankings included, comment below or send me a note however you please (my Twitter DMs are open, I list my email there, or if you feel like it, send me a carrier pigeon — just advise it to avoid the dog).